Non-alcoholic Wedding Jokes

Don't Drink. Have Wedding Fun Instead.

Q: What is the difference between normal (non-alcoholic) wedding and an alcoholic wedding
A: It is like between normal (non-electric) chair and electric chair

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Q: Who enjoys most alcoholic wedding? A: Alcoholics.
Q: Who enjoys most non-alcoholic wedding? A: Non-alcoholics.

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A drunkard looks through the window into the hall where a non-alcoholic wedding is celebrated. He wonders:
“I can understand that they do not drink alcohol. But why they do not even drink vodka?”

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All are dancing at a non-alcoholic wedding reception except for an old uncle, gazing at the people around him. His wife gets a little bit nervous as the uncle used to dance on earlier weddings:
“Are you O.K.?” she asks.
”Oh, yes, I just wonder why I have never seen people dancing at a wedding party”.

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Q: What is the difference between an alcoholic and non-alcoholic wedding party?
A: If at a non-alcoholic wedding party the entertainer says to the people: “Go three steps to the right”, then they go three steps to the right.
If a t an alcoholic wedding party the entertainer says to the people: “Go three steps to the right”, then they ask first: “Where is the Right?”.

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A conversation in a club:
"John had a non-alcoholic wedding reception. Isn't it surprising?"
"Would you need alcohol for fun, if your wife would make you happy?"

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An alcoholic wedding party is a solid foundation for the forthcoming divorce.

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If a groom raises a glass of wine and says "I love you", you never know if he means the wife or the wine.
At a non-alcoholic wedding, there is no glass of wine, so if the groom says "I love you", no mistake is possible.

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Q: Why is the alcoholic wedding more expensive than non-alcoholic one?
A: You have to include the expenses for the divorce.

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Q: What is the difference between a married couple and an unmarried couple?
A: The married couple cuts by half their expenses and doubles their satisfaction.
Q: Why then there are so many unmarried couples?
A: To calculate, you need intelligence.

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Q: Why is the alcoholic wedding more expensive than non-alcoholic one?
A: You have to cover the costs of restoring your image.

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Q: What is the difference between an civic-married couple and a church-married one?
A: The marriage of the first is on paper, that of the second in their hearts.

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Q: What is the difference between an unmarried couple and a church-married one?
A: For the unmarried couple children are failures, for the church-married one they are successes.

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Q: What is the difference between a civic-married couple and unmarried couple ?
A: In the type of paper, where their coming together and divorce are reported (civic registry papers and newspapers respectively)

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Q: When does a man decide to have a non-alcoholic wedding?
A: When he knows in advance he will not regret the marriage.

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Q: What is the advantage having church-married parents, taking their faith seriously?
A: If you meet a beautiful girl that you fall in love with, then you don't need to hire a detective to find out whether or not she is your sister.

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Q: Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
A: Would you pay the same price for a used car as for a new one?

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At a non-alcoholic wedding a guest to his wife:
"After this ceremony, I know why you wanted to have alcohol at our wedding. You wanted me to forget what you have sworn to me!!!"

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Two neighbors about their children.
"My son published a paper in a renown scientific journal, got therefore the position of an assistent at a good university and has now 10% higher salary than before."
"Oh, great. And my son brings home twice as much money as he used to."
"What a position did he get?"
"He became an abstinent".
"Oh, and for what achievement?"
"His girl-friend convinced him to have a non-alcoholic wedding".

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Q: How to cut down the expenses for divorce by 100%?
A: Cut down by 100% your expenses for alcoholic drinks.

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Q: Why are men who had non-alcoholic wedding faithful to their wives?
A: A sober man remembers better whom he has married.

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Q: What is alcohol good for?
A: It solves excellently problems that Abstinence would not even be able to create.

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Drunkard ordered a pizza. Seller asks if he shall cut it into six or twelve pieces. The drunkhard replies:
"In six. I am not that hungry and would not be able to eat twelve pieces."

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